


gimme love.

by htmlres



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/htmlres/pseuds/htmlres
Summary: Love. He’s enabled himself to feel love, unconditional and unrelenting love. It has kept him safe; it has kept him warm.Illumi loved Hisoka, he now understands it. Love, it feels foreign on his tongue, it crawls under his skin and makes itself known in the center of his chest.“I love you.”
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 16
Kudos: 291
Collections: HxH, Masterpieces





	gimme love.

Music muffled by the sound of water pelting against tile and glass plays through the bathroom, soft humming comes from inside the shower.

Hisoka runs his clawed nails over Illumi’s scalp, lulling him further into bliss, hot sticky air surrounds them as blood and dirt rolls down Illumi's back.

“I see you’ve decided to get messy today, was it a hard kill, dear?”

Illumi nearly opens his eyes just to roll them, what an accusation. 

“Never,” he says, tilting his head to the left, allowing Hisoka to move his hands and rub the tender skin of his neck, “how could you assume such a thing?”

A low laugh, breathy and subtle, emerges from behind him. He has an inkling of an idea, one that he believes is true, that they’re playing a game of cat and mouse at all times. Hisoka likes to get under his skin, and if he doesn’t pay enough attention, Hisoka will win. 

Illumi lets out a small sigh, his head bobs back a bit as he feels the tension leave his body. Hisoka resumes humming the lyrics of whatever song is currently playing and rakes his nails back through Illumi’s hair, the gentle scratch is almost enough to pass a moan through his lips, but he catches it just before it breaks through the seal.

To say it feels good is an understatement, and he cannot believe he denied himself this pleasure for so long. He’d always assumed showering with Hisoka would absolutely have to lead to sex, rather than what it truly does. This has become routine for them, a hot shower after a long day, quietly drying themselves off on cold tile that has become slick from the humid air of the bathroom, getting dressed just the same. 

They’ve only recently begun sharing a bed, again, a pleasantry Illumi is almost upset with himself for denying. He sleeps well next to Hisoka, extremely well if he’s honest. Illumi’s nights are usually cloaked in nightmares, sweat-dampened hair sticking to his body like it’s another layer of itchy skin, silent screams and tears. He only cries at night, quietly, afraid that somehow his parents would hear his sobs from miles away. Though next to Hisoka, he sleeps like a baby, content and shielded from the darkness that plagues his dreams.

Illumi wonders what his life would’ve been like had he not been raised by assassins, would he still wake up only hours after laying his head to rest, body rigid then shaking, would he still claw his skin in his sleep? He chooses to not dwell on the what ifs for too long, it’s nothing he can change now.

But things are easier with Hisoka. He would’ve never imagined the heat of another body next to him would be enough to melt away the terror that comes when he closes his eyes, that a grumpy mound on the bed next to him in the mornings would cause him to lose his stoic features and don a smile instead. 

Hisoka is not a morning person by any means, if he had it his way Illumi would never leave his grasp, never get out from under the blankets and sheets that harbor nothing but warmth and, Illumi dares, happiness. 

Warmth and happiness that seem to bleed from Hisoka’s skin onto his, coloring him bright and lovely. Perhaps it isn’t such a bad thing, to feel a fire blazing in his chest every time he looks over at the man, whether it be while he’s reading a book late at night, the sunset painting the apartment moody purples and deep blues, or while they’re watching the news over coffee in the early hours of the morning, the sun turning the living room into beautiful shades of pinks and oranges.

The sun has always reminded Illumi of Hisoka, since the day they met, loud and shining so brightly it’s almost blinding, spreading heat even while coming down to allow the moon to glow.

Illumi supposes he must be the moon, if Hisoka is the sun. Star-crossed lovers chasing after each other, but never allowed to touch. That’s how it’s always been for them. Things are different now, though. He’s allowed to _feel_ , at the ripe age of twenty-six, he has given himself the chance to experience _weakness_ , as his parents call it.

Love _._ He’s enabled himself to feel love, unconditional and unrelenting love. It has kept him safe; it has kept him _warm_. 

Illumi loved Hisoka, he now understands it. _Love,_ it feels foreign on his tongue, it crawls under his skin and makes itself known in the center of his chest.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t realize he’s said it out loud. Hisoka stops scrubbing his fingers through Illumi’s hair, mouth falling open, a silent _‘oh’_ left unspoken as time seems to stop for him. 

Illumi loves him. _Illumi loves him._ It plays like a mantra in his head, over and over again. If he could record it and keep it stored away somewhere safe, he would. Maybe one day he’ll be lucky enough to catch it on his phone, keep it locked away and never allow it to be heard by another’s ears.

Hisoka wonders if Illumi has even registered what he just said, he’s so quiet the only sound that Hisoka could hear is his own heart, beating hard in his ears, feels it in his legs. He doesn’t seem to be expecting a response.

“I love you too.”

Wet hair whips through the air, some sticking to the glass door beside them as Hisoka is met with a red faced Illumi, eyes wild, _scared._ Hisoka couldn’t stand to see such an emotion in them.

“What,” Illumi starts, the skin on his body suddenly feeling too tight, “what did you say?”

“I love you too, Mimi dear.” 

Hisoka is smiling at him now, though it’s not covered in lust or humor, it almost looks fond. His eyes speak the same language, crinkling at the side. Illumi thinks he’s beautiful like this, wet hair and freckles, scars littering his body, not covered by a layer nen.

He hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but he’s somewhat glad he did. For a moment, lost in his thoughts, he vaguely wondered if Hisoka felt the same. The ache he felt spread over him when he questioned if it would be unrequited was awful, like flames licking at his skin, burning him alive yet Hisoka’s confession seemed to cool the sting, like aloe on a sunburn.

As he stared before himself, he felt his own face mimic Hisoka’s, a smile finally reaching his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I do. I think I always have.”

And for the first time in his life, Illumi felt what he could only describe as complete and utter contentment.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for a friend and figured i'd post it here, thank you for reading!


End file.
